DEAR ABBY: My daughter says her children, ages 11 and 8, are afraid of me because I correct their lack of manners. Is asking them to say "please" and "thank you," or to use a knife to cut things on their plate into small pieces rather than have food hanging out of their mouths, really expecting too much?
If their parents don't care, who will teach them? While I no longer expect people to keep their arms off the table, what are the minimal standards I should expect at a dinner table these days? Or am I expected to watch slobs sprawled over the table, picking at their food with their hands and chewing with their mouths open? -- RICHARD IN SARASOTA, FLA.
DEAR RICHARD: Sometimes it isn't what we say, as much as how we say it. I see nothing wrong with reminding children to use their manners and explaining what they are. But if you are doing it in such a way that your grandchildren are afraid of you, it may be time to work on your delivery.
DEAR ABBY: I am a new minister at a fairly large church. For this reason, I'm having a difficult time getting to know the families and remembering the hundreds of names. I would like to take the time to "come calling," as my grandmother used to say.
Is there a polite way to invite yourself over to someone's home? -- POLITE VISITOR IN MISSOURI
DEAR POLITE VISITOR: No. The people who have written me about this subject have been parishioners who felt it was an intrusion.
A more palatable way to get to know your church members would be to institute a social hour after the service so you can mingle and chat with them.
DEAR ABBY: I am 52 years old and have absolutely adored the Beatles ever since they came over in 1964. At the time, I was growing up in a home filled with domestic violence and alcoholism. When I heard their music, I felt I had a voice for the feelings I had to keep inside -- a safe voice through music. At the same time, I could sense that each of the men in the group was as sincere as their lyrics. To this day, I still listen to Beatles music and care about the surviving members.
I know I'm not alone, as thousands love them all over the world. Even today's teenagers are catching on. I've been to Liverpool twice and have felt the essence of their songs through seeing places where their lives began.
Am I obsessed with the Beatles, or did they arrive at a time in my life when I needed to believe in something? -- VIRGINIA IN WARNER ROBINS, GA.
DEAR VIRGINIA: I'd call you less obsessed than devoted, and with good cause. The Beatles arrived at a time in many people's lives when they needed to believe in something. Their music spoke for a generation and brought sunshine to people of every age when their days were cloudy and their hearts were heavy. It continues to do so today. Things are "getting better all the time"!
If their parents don't care, who will teach them? While I no longer expect people to keep their arms off the table, what are the minimal standards I should expect at a dinner table these days? Or am I expected to watch slobs sprawled over the table, picking at their food with their hands and chewing with their mouths open? -- RICHARD IN SARASOTA, FLA.
DEAR RICHARD: Sometimes it isn't what we say, as much as how we say it. I see nothing wrong with reminding children to use their manners and explaining what they are. But if you are doing it in such a way that your grandchildren are afraid of you, it may be time to work on your delivery.
DEAR ABBY: I am a new minister at a fairly large church. For this reason, I'm having a difficult time getting to know the families and remembering the hundreds of names. I would like to take the time to "come calling," as my grandmother used to say.
Is there a polite way to invite yourself over to someone's home? -- POLITE VISITOR IN MISSOURI
DEAR POLITE VISITOR: No. The people who have written me about this subject have been parishioners who felt it was an intrusion.
A more palatable way to get to know your church members would be to institute a social hour after the service so you can mingle and chat with them.
DEAR ABBY: I am 52 years old and have absolutely adored the Beatles ever since they came over in 1964. At the time, I was growing up in a home filled with domestic violence and alcoholism. When I heard their music, I felt I had a voice for the feelings I had to keep inside -- a safe voice through music. At the same time, I could sense that each of the men in the group was as sincere as their lyrics. To this day, I still listen to Beatles music and care about the surviving members.
I know I'm not alone, as thousands love them all over the world. Even today's teenagers are catching on. I've been to Liverpool twice and have felt the essence of their songs through seeing places where their lives began.
Am I obsessed with the Beatles, or did they arrive at a time in my life when I needed to believe in something? -- VIRGINIA IN WARNER ROBINS, GA.
DEAR VIRGINIA: I'd call you less obsessed than devoted, and with good cause. The Beatles arrived at a time in many people's lives when they needed to believe in something. Their music spoke for a generation and brought sunshine to people of every age when their days were cloudy and their hearts were heavy. It continues to do so today. Things are "getting better all the time"!