DEAR ABBY: I am being sort of sexually harassed, and I don't know what to do. I'm 15 and my brother, "Joey," is 16. We live with our mother. Our parents are divorced. Mom works, so we're home by ourselves in the afternoon after school.
Joey has a new friend, "Mike," who constantly makes sexually oriented comments to me. He has never tried to touch me, and I don't think he ever would, but the comments really bother me and I have tried to tell him so. He just laughs and says he means it as a compliment.
I have told Joey in private how much it bothers me and asked him to get Mike to stop, but he won't say anything. Joey is very meek and Mike is very domineering. Also, Joey has always had trouble making friends, and Mike is his only friend right now, and I think he's afraid of losing his only friend.
I stay out of the bedroom when Mike is here, but we live in a small apartment, so I can't really get away from him. But I don't feel I should have to hide whenever Mike is here. So far, I haven't said anything to Mom. Knowing her, I am sure that if I told her, she'd say Mike can no longer come over — and that would be the end of the friendship. I don't want that. I just want the comments to stop. What can I do? — EMBARRASSED IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.
DEAR EMBARRASSED: The next time Mike makes one of his off-color "compliments," tell him you don't like it and consider it degrading. Then tell him you want an immediate apology and his word that it won't happen again — because if it does you will tell your mother, and he won't be welcome there again.
And if it happens again, follow through on your word. Your brother isn't "meek"; he's acting like a wimp by allowing Mike to disrespect you. And I have a strong hunch that Mike isn't coming over because he cares anything about your brother. I suspect he's there because he has a crush on you.
DEAR ABBY: I was married briefly five years ago. My ex-husband, "Hank," and I share custody of our soon-to-be 7-year-old son. As a result, we see each other frequently.
Over the last five years, we have had an on-again, off-again sexual relationship. The last time we had sex was three weeks ago. Literally the next day, his engagement announcement came out in our local paper. I was shocked, to say the least.
Hank is a pilot and travels every other week. His fiancee is a drug sales rep, and I assume she travels, too. I knew he was seeing her, but he always told me it was casual. The wedding is next month.
The other problem is, I am now two weeks late for my period. What should I do? I think she should know, especially if there is the possibility that I could be pregnant. — CONFLICTED IN NISKAYUNA, N.Y.
DEAR CONFLICTED: Do you know for a fact that you're pregnant? Does Hank know? If the answer to both questions is yes, then his fiancee should be told that he has remained sexually involved with you. Hank appears to have no respect for women, or he wouldn't have been cheating on his girlfriend and having unprotected sex with you. If you're pregnant, he will be legally obligated to support the two children he has with you.
P.S. In the future when he's visiting "the children," please stop having sex with him. Being a single parent with two children is hard enough without adding a third.
Joey has a new friend, "Mike," who constantly makes sexually oriented comments to me. He has never tried to touch me, and I don't think he ever would, but the comments really bother me and I have tried to tell him so. He just laughs and says he means it as a compliment.
I have told Joey in private how much it bothers me and asked him to get Mike to stop, but he won't say anything. Joey is very meek and Mike is very domineering. Also, Joey has always had trouble making friends, and Mike is his only friend right now, and I think he's afraid of losing his only friend.
I stay out of the bedroom when Mike is here, but we live in a small apartment, so I can't really get away from him. But I don't feel I should have to hide whenever Mike is here. So far, I haven't said anything to Mom. Knowing her, I am sure that if I told her, she'd say Mike can no longer come over — and that would be the end of the friendship. I don't want that. I just want the comments to stop. What can I do? — EMBARRASSED IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIF.
DEAR EMBARRASSED: The next time Mike makes one of his off-color "compliments," tell him you don't like it and consider it degrading. Then tell him you want an immediate apology and his word that it won't happen again — because if it does you will tell your mother, and he won't be welcome there again.
And if it happens again, follow through on your word. Your brother isn't "meek"; he's acting like a wimp by allowing Mike to disrespect you. And I have a strong hunch that Mike isn't coming over because he cares anything about your brother. I suspect he's there because he has a crush on you.
DEAR ABBY: I was married briefly five years ago. My ex-husband, "Hank," and I share custody of our soon-to-be 7-year-old son. As a result, we see each other frequently.
Over the last five years, we have had an on-again, off-again sexual relationship. The last time we had sex was three weeks ago. Literally the next day, his engagement announcement came out in our local paper. I was shocked, to say the least.
Hank is a pilot and travels every other week. His fiancee is a drug sales rep, and I assume she travels, too. I knew he was seeing her, but he always told me it was casual. The wedding is next month.
The other problem is, I am now two weeks late for my period. What should I do? I think she should know, especially if there is the possibility that I could be pregnant. — CONFLICTED IN NISKAYUNA, N.Y.
DEAR CONFLICTED: Do you know for a fact that you're pregnant? Does Hank know? If the answer to both questions is yes, then his fiancee should be told that he has remained sexually involved with you. Hank appears to have no respect for women, or he wouldn't have been cheating on his girlfriend and having unprotected sex with you. If you're pregnant, he will be legally obligated to support the two children he has with you.
P.S. In the future when he's visiting "the children," please stop having sex with him. Being a single parent with two children is hard enough without adding a third.