I've been a father for nearly a year. My wife and I welcomed our daughter into the world on June 27, 2016. So while we were most of the way to the finish line during Father's Day 2016, this is the first one in which I can fully participate.
    As such, I'm doing the most fatherly thing I can think of.
    At 7:30 this morning, my alarm will go off. I'll slowly get out of bed and dutifully prepare an English muffin, some fruit and some milk for my beloved daughter.
    And then I'm off to the golf course.
    Yep. I'm that guy.
    Don't worry. I'll be home for dinner and I'm sure that I'll always treasure the pictures I take with my daughter on our first Father's Day together. But I'd be lying if I said that her inability to sit upright in a moving golf cart hasn't been a thorn in my side for the last year.
    I've been a pretty avid golfer since I was 10. My love for the game has survived countless 3-putts, plenty of horribly hot south Georgia summer days and more lost bets than I care to count. But like any good weekend warrior, I keep on coming back.
    But my new role as a father has taken a huge chunk out of what had been my normally scheduled golfing time.
    I feel like I'm not alone in this fate, so I've prepared a short primer for other dads to remind us all of what we're carrying in our bags and what to expect during this day of solace we've been afforded.

    Driver: I loaded all points into 'power' attribute bar before realizing that 'accuracy' was also an option. The results have been bad, but impressively bad.
    3-wood: Won't make solid contact out of the fairway. In a pinch and on shorter par-4s, can be relied on to be just as wildly inaccurate as driver.
    3-hybrid: Mine has a funny name. It's called the "jackaroo" and I have no idea why. This gives me cheap laughs while searching for my latest lost ball.
    4-hybrid: If (read: when) I'm ever in a tough spot, this club's shiny gold shaft and polished club head make it look like a secret weapon. Alas, it usually only leads to a flashier and more impressive chunked rescue shot that fails to get back into play.
    5-iron: I thought I'd be thrifty. I acquired this club via wish upon an accursed monkey's paw. I'm starting to think I should have just spent the extra few bucks on Amazon Prime.
    6-iron: There are an abundance of great GPS apps available for download on your smartphone. If not for this technological breakthrough, I'd never know that I can hook this club so badly that the ball ends up farther from the hole.
    7-iron: After years of wayward shots at dozens of courses in the southern and coastal Georgia regions, I feel confident that this is the club with the best weight-to-length ratio for fighting off aggressive wildlife.
    8-iron: The last time I took a full swing with this club, I skulled it and the low laser beam killed a goose in the middle of a pond. I think the club is still being pursued by local authorities.
    9-iron: Huge discrepancy from practice to play. This club has hit a ball collector cart on the range 135 times. I think it may have held a handful of greens in regulation while on the course.
    Pitching wedge: in recognition of my horrible chipping game and all of the innocent greenside grass I've chunked out of existence,I implore all readers to donate to the Georgia Southern University Golf Course, care of the head greenskeeper.
    Gap wedge: Great at saving me out of deep rough when playing alone. Even better at hosel-rocketing into innocent children playing on a trampoline in an adjacent backyard right after betting someone $20 that I can stick this approach within 10 feet of the pin.
    Sand wedge: I try to avoid direct eye contact, for fear that it may actually be the devil incarnate.
    Putter: I once drained a double-breaking, downhill, 30-footer for a birdie. That's a solid second place in this club's history after realizing that all of the weird grooves on the back of it can open a beer bottle.
    Other: Official golf rules allow for 14 clubs in a bag. You may have noticed that I'm only carrying 13. On a totally unrelated note, you can get the 'Kooler Klub' — a thermos that holds over two liters of your favorite beverage — in a cleverly designed container that looks like just another club in the bag.
    Happy Father's Day, everyone!