The immediate weather forecast for our area is rain — and more rain.  There have been a few brief periods of sun sightings but this climate funk has been pretty rough on your old fishing writer.  I am using this down time to dream of two pound shell crackers, eight pound bass and twenty pound stripers on the end of my line.
    I do however need to do some thinking and planning for future trips because there are always problems that crop up along the way.  I have encountered most of these unfortunate tribulations at some point as I’m sure you have.  We just need to have a plan for when they occur.
    Typical examples of incidents that can hamper or ruin what was to be a pleasurable and tranquil day on the water are numerous and thus I have put together a short list of some I have encountered in order to have a plan for each eventuality:
1) The truck got stuck 
2) There ain’t no good place to put the boat in without miring up to your knees
3) I kept getting my lure hung in the trees
4) A big fish broke my line
5) There’s a bad leak in the boat
6) We turned the boat over
7) We turned the boat over and fell in
8) A hook got stuck in my ear
9) The game warden visited with us and nobody had a license
10) Forgot the beer
    Any of these can cause the ruination of a good fishing trip and I have formulated a plan for each situation because there is no doubt that they will transpire again in the near future.
    For example take case number 9 which is the game warden scenario.  It is now standard operating procedure (since I don’t have much money) for my usual fishing partner and I to split the cost of a license.  If the game warden shows up the guy (my buddy) with the license in his pocket takes off for the shore and the rabbit sheriff of course takes off after him.  Upon discovering that his intended victim does indeed have a valid license there is no penalty incurred.  Meanwhile, I make good my escape and we meet up later to laugh about it.  This has been a good plan so far.      
    These normal predicaments aside, I recently ran into a new dilemma for the first time and, after some thought do not yet have a plan for how to deal with it.  This particular situation did not actually spoil the trip it just created some difficulties that merit serious consideration.
    Following a semi-successful excursion to a pond located on a local dairy farmer’s land I began to make preparations to take my john boat out and load up to head home.  Upon reaching the shore I realized a couple of things.  A large herd of cows were huddled around my pickup truck and they were steadily licking my mirrors and windows and sliming them in a most enthusiastic fashion.  This had actually happened before and so it was nothing new. 
    What was disconcerting was the large Holstein bull in their midst.  Even more distressing was that when he noticed me he began pawing the ground, bellowing, snorting and generally working himself into a rage.  This was an event with which I had no prior experience.  To make things worse he was standing right beside the door on the driver’s side of my truck.  At this point the only thing in my favor was that the truck was between him and me and I felt sure he would soon rectify that.
    Now I had to figure out how to load my boat and gain entrance to my truck while evading a snot blowing bull seemingly bent on stomping me into the ground.
    My first stratagem was to try to calm him with soft words.  I told him, “I’m not here to chase your harem of heifers around the pasture.  I don’t even think they are pretty.”  His response was to throw up another plume of dirt with his hooves and cut loose with a primal bellow the likes of which I had never heard.  Now I was really scared.  He was beyond reason so I changed tactics.
    Out of desperation I began to loudly spew some bad words at him thinking that he might be bluffed into backing down.  That proved to be poor judgment on my part.  He was now completely beside himself in anticipation of seeing to my demise. 
    It then occurred to me to try to sneak up to the passenger side of the truck and get in that way but alas that door was locked and the keys were in the ignition.  As a last resort I secured some large dirt clods and began steadily pelting him in the head.  That ticked him off something awful and he made a move to come around the truck to get at me.  I of course ran the opposite direction and jumped into the front of the vehicle with a display of athleticism that befitted a much younger man.  Once inside I breathed a sigh of relief while the raging monster tried to dismantle my front bumper.  I cranked up and lit out, leaving my boat and tackle for another day.
    I now have some experience in solving farm animal problems related to fishing trips and will be glad to consult with you on that point if need be.  By the way, upon returning to fetch my boat a day later it was thoroughly slimed with cow slobber and had several servings of stinking cow manure in the bottom.
    Now I wonder who would have done a thing like that.

    Alvin Richardson is a contributing writer, retired educator, and public speaker. Contact him at dar8589@bellsouth.net.