America is a wonderful place to live, but let's face it, it costs a lot to run this country.
At the moment, the country has no money. So we need to borrow a little if we want to continue enjoying the American way of life to which we have all become accustomed.
The intelligent people we sent to Washington have carefully calculated that if we can borrow just $1,900,000,000,000, the country can continue to run for 10 more months; coincidentally, just beyond the November elections.
We all need to pitch in and help. It's our patriotic duty. There are about 308,680,000 people in the country now, according to the Population Clock maintained by the Census Bureau. This includes newborn babies, the elderly, people on welfare, illegal immigrants, all those in prison; and don't forget the homeless. They are just as important, just as American, as the rest of us.
If every one of us lends the government $6155 by investing in highly-rated government bonds, it will bring our country safely and painlessly through these next 10 months. I'm sure we will all want to help.
And then we get to do it all over again after November. At that time, we will each need to invest at least another $6155 to continue sound government operations through the next 10 months. And every 10 months we get to make another investment.
This arithmetic gets confusing. After all, I'm not as smart as the people we sent to Washington, but I guess if we all invest $6155 every 10 months, the government can keep running just as efficiently as it does now. And won't we be proud of our part in making this possible!
And think how wealthy we will all become! Every 10 months our investments, savings and net worth will increase by $6155 — forever — fully secured by highly-rated government bonds!
Isn't this a great country?! The land of opportunity!
No, I didn't forget that the government already owes $12,500,000,000,000? We don't have to worry about that! Our friends, the Chinese, have covered that for us!