One of the popularly held ideas for several years in our culture has been that there are few, if any, absolute truths or principles.  Most everything is relative to circumstances or environment.  Things found in Scripture that seem to be absolute shouldn’t necessarily be taken seriously.  Even when Jesus pronounces that he is “the way, the truth and the life,” and that “No one comes to the Father except through [him]” (John 14:6), the response of some is, “So, what?”  An insistence on taking Biblical thinking as a guidepost for direction is seen as narrow-minded.

In an interview with a major news network several years ago, a popular actress talked candidly about her decision to raise her son without the help of a husband/father.  With seemingly little or no thought about the propriety of extra-marital sex, her answer to the question about her choice in child-rearing was brief: “Every-body is different.  There is no perfect way to raise a family.  Everybody comes with a different bag of tricks.”

I’m not sure that I’ve ever heard a clearer indication of our society’s dependence on popular thinking regarding the family. For years, men and women have been told the family is passé, and that women and men don’t need one another.  This continues to be the view of many.  

What should a Christian’s reaction be to this kind of thinking?

First, even though “everybody is different,” the will of God is still that men and women who marry and have children do so within the context of that covenant relationship. Not everyone has to marry, and not all who do must have children.  But unless unavoidable circumstances prevent it, God wants children to be reared by a mother and a father.

Second, it is true that “no one is perfect.”  But imperfections in family relations are due to the failure of people, and not to any imperfections in the plan of God.  Doing our best to follow God’s directions gives us a much greater likelihood of realizing God’s desires for our family’s well-being.  When we give up on (or never try) God’s way, we insure failure.

Third, the actress’ claim that “everybody comes with a different bag of tricks” suggests that everybody’s notions about family are equally valid.  Further, her language implies that parenting is somewhat akin to a game or adventure, with the only rules being those she chooses to accept or make up.  Such a viewpoint makes life little more than a roll of the dice.  With this view, it matters little, aside from material considerations, what values a child’s parent(s) may or may not possess.  Who thinking person would admit to this attitude about their role? 

Christian...if you are a parent — or expect to be one in the future — remember that you belong to God, and your allegiance is to him as Lord of your life in everything. Whether you’re a believer or not, don’t blindly accept the idea that the determination to follow God’s will is just too confining and judgmental. Whatever errors in judgment you may have made in your personal life, whatever your failures in self-control, or whatever wrong-headed thinking you may have entertained in the past, God still loves you and wants more than anything for you to know the healing of his forgiveness and the true liberation and joy in following his will for your life.