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Letter - Random thoughts on big local issues
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            Some random thoughts and observations:

            I am surprised that Mayor Hatcher and the Statesboro City Council have not yet followed the lead of some other municipalities by bringing in an ordinance outlawing low-slung and/or underwear-revealing clothes. Were they to do so, it might lessen the pressure on them to allow Sunday sales of alcohol because folks will be cinched up so high and tight, they won’t be able to drink even if they want to. Mind you, such an ordinance would also mean a police presence at Shoney’s, what with all those All-You-Can-Eat Sunday breakfast buffet customers easing the pressure by loosening the odd button and zipper, so they’d have to arrest all those dads and grandpas. And then there are those older women prone to wearing white blouses that clearly reveal their two or even three-inch wide bra straps, so grandma and Aunt Myrtle would have to go in the paddy-wagon, too … perhaps council is wise to let this dog lie.

            On Wednesday, August 29, I happened to drive by the Shell station at the intersection of Highway 301 South and the bypass. Until I read about it in the Herald the next day, I had no idea that what I was witnessing was the police busting a mobile methamphetamine lab. What I saw was a couple of orange traffic cones and a bunch of guys standing around just talking. I thought it was a DOT crew.

            The other day I had just entered a stall in a public restroom when I heard a low voice say, “We’ve only got 10 minutes.” It was a long second — during which visions of Minneapolis airport men’s rooms and Republican senators danced in my head — before I realized that the fellow in the next stall was multi-tasking. I’m sure the person he was talking to on his cell phone enjoyed their conversation all the more because of the soundtrack I added.

            I was walking with a friend when we noticed a young woman in front of us sporting a pair of shorts with the word “FRESH” printed across the bottom. My friend said that was nothing. She’d once seen the promise “THIS SPACE FOR RENT” similarly placed. Which reminded me of the story of the prostitute in ancient Athens who had the direction “Follow Me” carved into the soles of her sandals, thus leaving an easily-followed trail of advertising in her wake as she trolled the muddy streets.

            And that comes back to the issue of dress that reveals underwear. Might these young men and women be showing, along with their Fruit of the Looms and thongs, the entrepreneurial spirit? That spirit should not be thwarted, of course, so I again congratulate Mayor Hatcher and his brethren, for consider this: If blocked in one direction, that spirit might seek expression in another, perhaps even in a desire to have Statesboro and Bulloch County profit via allowing adults the right to choose whether or not to buy alcoholic beverages on Sundays. And that would be more shocking than a glimpse of stocking.

Marc D. Cyr

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