I always thought that the old adage, "Spare the rod and spoil the child," was aimed in my direction, and I also believe that would be the same point of view of countless children who feel they are being unduly punished.

My dad was a firm believer in discipline. I can still remember times when I couldn't sit down after getting a whipping.

Usually, it was for something very incidental, like filling his tank with water, flushing my sister's toys down the toilet or cutting our neighbor's drapes at eye level so I could see out the window.

Mom was gentler, as she let me pick the switch for my weekly whacking. I remember her telling me she never had a spanking in her life. Either she was telling me a story or never got caught.

Eventually, I learned that we all go through the growing up stage of life needing a certain amount of punishment. (A slap on the behind sounds better.) Perhaps discipline sounds better, but it still hurts. For some reason, we all have the need to try our wings, push the envelope, see how far we can go or step over the line to find out if they really mean what they say. Sometimes we get punishment out of ignorance – like getting burnt touching the stove – and at other times, we seem to have a compulsion to do what we want to do, no matter how many warnings we get. It's just in the way for us kids to grow up by learning the hard way. After a while, we either get tired of getting clobbered, or we begin to mature, discriminate and choose the correct option.

Let's talk about another kind of discipline or punishment – the unfair kind – when the punishment certainly does not fit the crime and certainly not deserving. "Why has God done this to me? Why did my loved one have to die? Why have I been cursed with cancer? What did I do that was so bad that I must suffer this way?"

A good friend of mine sat down next to me and whispered, "If this is the best I can hope for in life, who needs it, why bother to go on living?"

One of the answers I heard in seminary was, "God loves you and is doing this to help you lead a better life and cherish what you have and accept what you have lost." I personally take offense when I am told I have a very tough future because God is testing me. I don't need a test.

Along comes the writer of Hebrews, "My son/daughter, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord nor lose courage when you are punished by Him." I wish the passage had read, "God has an extraordinary way of caring for us. God loves us so much that He allows us to learn by experience." What if we were like the child who is so sheltered in his growing up days that he's afraid to cross the street, be in public or trying new things? Or telling the truth when the truth could cost unbelievable pain.

Parents truly suffer when they realize that they must allow that beautiful girl or handsome boy of theirs to make mistakes, admit responsibility and accept the punishment.

We hug our kids and then turn them over to the world, figuring we have given them what they needed when they were young so they can survive when they are on their own.

I'll never forget the day when one of my kids said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I answered, "Would it have made any difference?"

The reply, "Nope."

My answer, "That's why I didn't say anything."

The reply, "Thanks, Dad. I understand."

God did not treat His Son as though He were a puppet. God gave Jesus complete freedom of choice in the wilderness, towards Jerusalem, in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus could have changed His mind and His direction in life, but He made the right choice knowing what the future would bring.

There is a rule that belongs to every Christian, "Follow Me!" Those are words of discipline, and in them is freedom. As Hebrews writes, "For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

Thanks, God!