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The real reason mothers-in-law don't like their daughters-in-law
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There's only one reason mothers-in-law clash with their daughters-in-law. This is it. - photo by ROBERTA PRETO
Your relationship is going well and your boyfriend insists that you meet his mother. You immediately feel uncomfortable and anxious, wondering whether she'll like you.

If she does, you know youve lucked out. If not, you may have some things to work through.

Arguments with members of your husband's family are difficult to deal with, especially with your mother-in-law. This not only harms your relationship with her, but also disrupts the whole family. As much as your husband loves you, its difficult for him to see the two most important women in his life bickering and disrespecting each other. Even if its just for the sake of your husband, try to love his mother.

While there are many things in-laws disagree on, theres one underlying reason mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law clash:

Fear

Yes, fear is the great author of the tension between you and your mother-in-law.

Her biggest fear is losing her son - losing the admiration he has given her for so long to his new girlfriend or wife.

Its not always true that youre trying to steal her son from her; but validating her fears wont do any good.

According to Psychology Today, it's important to realize that you may not always get along, but you are part of the same family. So don't picture each other as rivals fighting over someone, but rather as family members.

The best way to try and strengthen a relationship with your mother-in-law is to make sure she doesnt feel like shes losing her son to you.

Thank her for how wonderful she is. Compliment her qualities as a mother. This helps soften her heart and helps eliminate feelings of fear or jealousy.

Treating your husband with love and kindness are also other ways to win her over. Try to offer your best to her son and soon she will realize how valuable you are - and shell realize that her son made the best choice in a wife.

And remember, today youre a daughter-in-law, but someday you could be a mother-in-law, too.
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