How do you know if your marriage is heading in the wrong direction?
If your answer is "yes" to any of these questions, your marriage is in danger:
When you wake up next to your spouse, do you find yourself asking: "Why do I love her?"
When coming home after a day of work, or after being out with family or friends, do you feel pain and sadness about coming home?
Has your relationship with your spouse become more like a sibling relationship with little confidence that it’s a loving relationship?
Have you been on the verge of divorce several times, but the only reason you go ahead with your marriage is because you have children, or you worry about your family and what people might think?
The following list will give you possible marriage problems and solutions on how you can prevent your marriage from ending in divorce.
Problem: When the husband doesn’t make as much money as expected, or when the spouse is not included in making decisions about money management, and there are no discussions about it.
Solution: Create a family budget. Both father and mother shall be included in the budget planning. Both spouses should reach an agreement on costs.
Together you can create a list of requirements that must be met by each member of the family. If the husband’s job alone is not covering all of the costs, consider another solution. There are many families where both parents need to work, and together you can discuss whether or not this needs to happen.
Problem: You can’t talk about certain subjects without getting angry; there is no interest in talking about feelings or wishes, dreams and hopes to each other. There is no exchange of ideas, suggestions or plans on parenting.
Solution: Learn to speak and to listen.
Both spouses must understand the importance of expressing and sharing their feelings and discussing situations that are happening in each other’s lives. This is vital to keeping the relationship alive.
Problem: Work, stress, friends and hobbies are more important than the children and the spouse. If you do not want to spend time with the family and your spouse, this is a sign that something is wrong.
Solution: When a person is not happy in their marriage, they will find other ways to receive fulfillment. You and your spouse should try to talk about what bothers each other and ask “why are you not happy?” What can be done so you can be more in sync and feel comfortable at home?
It is important to find time to communicate, talk about money, and have some private time as a couple.
Problem: There are different types of abuse. It can occur from man or woman and affects the whole family.
Solution: You should seek professional help. Ignoring the problem will only get worse and jeopardize your life and your family. The only way to save a relationship that is experiencing this problem is getting professional help and waiting for the sincere desire of the abuser to change. Often the abuse does not have feelings of love. Patience, humility, dedication and especially love to overcome a problem of this nature is needed.
Problem: The use of drugs, alcohol and pornography affecting married life and harmony in the home.
Solution: Like the abuse, such problems cannot be ignored. Seek help. A common problem is the one who is addicted is the one who is not ready to change. Support, patience, dedication and love from each other are important things to have in order for any change to occur.
Problem: Dishonesty and sexual deception with third parties.
Solution: It is possible to overcome infidelity, as long as the two want to improve and save the relationship. Patience, humility, sincere forgiveness, dedication, and professional help (in most cases) are needed to improve communication and show love.
There are many reasons for wanting a divorce, but there are many more reasons to continue to try and save your relationship.
For those of you who are going through difficult times, don’t get discouraged. A successful marriage is not easy, but that doesn’t mean it's impossible. Every day you have a new opportunity to improve your relationship. The time to act is now.