For some, it's easy to spot losers. They are the person you date who you think you have a connection with and can see all their faults, but ignore them. Now, everyone has faults, but those aren't the faults I'm talking about. I'm talking about the ones that prevent you from taking this person home to your parents. The ones that can kill a relationship before it starts. The thing about losers, though, is they are easy to spot if you have a trained eye.
Many of my friends have dated absolute losers, and they all had some things in common. Some of my friends didn’t notice their girlfriend or boyfriend was a loser until it had to be spelled out for them. So, if you’re wondering if the person you or your friend is dating is a loser, see if they have any of these 5 red flags.
Most of the time, people with incredibly bad tempers are losers. There is nothing worse than a grown man or woman throwing the same tantrums as a five year old who doesn’t get what he or she wants at the store. If they throw things around, let their temper get the best of them all the time, and are easily enraged by simple things that a grown person should be able to handle, then they aren’t mature and aren’t worth your time. They will eventually start taking their temper out on you. Don’t waste your time with them. You don’t want to have to tell your mother that your significant other is cooling off in the car because you didn’t text them back within two minutes.
They Don’t Have A Plan.
Many would say that not having a job makes someone a loser, but I disagree. I know plenty of driven and determined people who are between jobs or what they want to do doesn’t entail working a nine-to-five. A person can have a job and still be a loser. The key thing is they have to have a plan. If they don’t have a job or are stuck in a dead-end one with no plans to get out of the situation or don’t care to, then you’ve found yourself a loser. Any driven and determined person will find out how to get where they want to be. Losers will stay where they are and blame others for their misfortunes.
They attach themselves quickly.
If it’s been a month and they have already said they love you, they are getting too attached too early. They are just looking for someone to be attached to. These are the desperate dates that are just looking for someone, anyone, to spend time with. Psychologist Joseph M. Carver says, “"The Loser" has very shallow emotions and connections with others.” They will quickly have feelings for you that could just as quickly fade away.
They Put You Down.
Losers don’t want you to know they are losers, so they make you feel like one. They will attempt to put down your dreams because they can't do it themselves, or they will make you feel unattractive so that you think you can't find anyone better. This leads to him or her treating you badly and you thinking you deserve it. Well, you don’t. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s fantastic quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
They’re Super Controlling.
Losers are paranoid and terrified of being broken up with so they will do everything to prevent it, especially if they know you are better than them. They will try to pull you away from your friends and only spend time with them, they will watch your every move, and they will do some rather stalkerish or insecure things so they have control over you. They want to know where you are at all times, who you’re with, and they don’t want you to go out with friends because, God forbid, you might you have without them. Don’t let someone control you. Relationships are meant to be two independent people coming together to take on the world together, not to control one another. If they’re super controlling, they have trust issues and as the famous meme goes, “Ain’t nobody got time for dat.”
Losers are all over the place. You may not be able to see it as easily in the beginning, but you will eventually take notice. These tips will allow you to spot losers much faster. Beware, being entangled in a loser’s web can turn you into one yourself. Don’t settle for a loser. Instead, land yourself a champion.
Written by Drew Schroeder for Healthyliving.care.