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11 ways you're ruining your relationship happiness
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Every relationship might not work out, but you can be happier in any relationship by focusing on the right things. - photo by Emily Cummings
In a healthy relationship, youre confident, cheerful and everything seems just perfect but only if you put in the effort. Surprise, surprise -- relationships arent going to be effortless. Be careful though; working hard in the wrong areas can completely ruin your happily ever after.

If you are focusing on these 11 things, you are kissing happiness goodbye.

1. Loving his resume

Fall in love with the person, not what hes like on paper. Only caring about the fact that hes a doctor, hes well traveled and was top of his class wont matter if he doesnt treat you right. Falling in love should be about the person, not just what theyve accomplished.

2. Pressing "Panic"

Forget the idea that you need to be married by a certain age. Dont buy into social pressure no matter how many save the date invites you got this week. Dating should be a decision you make because you want to be with a person, not because you need someone to go to all those weddings with.

3. Taking advice

Friends and families can give some great insights on what your Mr. Wonderful should be like but keep their suggestions on the back burner. What your mom wants for you isnt necessarily going to match up with what you want for yourself. Dont get locked into a relationship that isnt good for you just because it makes your parents proud.

4. Keeping score

Dating tells you a lot about yourself; heartbreak is best soothed with gelato, and you know without a doubt youre not into the "boy next door" type. But be careful not to invest too much into what youve learned. Dont bank your happiness on an impossible composite of all the good traits of boyfriend A, B, C, D, E, F and G. You wont ever be happy if you are looking for perfection, because you wont find it.

5. Being happy in a relationship

Obviously, you want to be happy in a relationship. But dont base your happiness on the wrong reasons. If you are at your happiest only when you have a hot date, youre not truly happy. Its sounds sappy, but learning to love yourself is going to be your greatest asset in any relationship. It shows confidence, self-worth, and independence; or, in other words, all things attractive.

6. Being with your best friend

It puts a lot of pressure on your partner if hes expected to be the boyfriend, the husband, the best friend, the motivational speaker and the voice of reason in your life. While he should have aspects of those qualities, you are setting yourself up for unhappiness if you think one person can do everything alone. Relationships are a team effort.

7. Keeping quiet

How are you supposed to be happy in a relationship if the person you are with doesnt know what you want out of it all? Communication (even in the early stages of dating) is going to avoid heartache throughout a relationship.

8. Holding onto The List

Having a list of what you want in a relationship can be good, depending on whats actually on the list. If you are stuck on finicky qualities (must be over six foot and blonde) youre weeding out someone who can make you happy despite the fact that hes got dark hair.

9. Looking for the adventurer

While a little excitement and spontaneity is going to keep you on your toes, real life isnt made up of constant surprise trips to Europe. Being happy with someone as you sprint to catch a picture of the sunrise over the pier isnt as important as being with someone whom you love being with when youre both watching Netflix for the night.

10. Finding someone who should be

Dont get caught up with finding someone who should be a certain way, because you think thats what would be best for you. Being with someone who should be this, or should be that is going to be dramatic and stressful.

11. Dating for fun

Dating is fun, but it doesnt compare to being in a committed relationship especially if you end up being more involved than you had planned. Date for keeps, not just for a little fling. Wouldnt it be nice to be excited, not anxious, when you get a second date?

Every relationship might not work out, but you can be happier in any relationship by focusing on the right things.
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