DEAR ABBY: Not long ago you wrote a column that mentioned funny names that match people’s occupations. I am submitting two more: Prior to our wedding, my husband and I had the state-required blood tests. They were administered by a Dr. Fix. (We later read that Dr. Fix was caught giving himself one, and was arrested on drug charges.) The minister who married us was aptly named Dr. Comfort. — ANN B., ARCHER, FLA.
DEAR ANN: Thanks for a “Fixer”-upper of a letter. It arrived with a bushel of mail from other readers offering names that match occupations. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: One of my dearest friends is a professional landscaper of golf courses, highways and schools. His name? Ross Weed! — BONNIE G. CHAPIN, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, last name Graves, is a funeral director. — DIANNE G., RIPLEY, MISS.
DEAR ABBY: The first time I took my grandchildren to their doctor, their regular physician was on vacation. The doctor who was filling in for him was named Dr. Needle. I kid you not. — THERESA S., SPARROW BUSH, N.Y.
DEAR ABBY: When I was in college, the disciplinary dean’s name was Dick Justice. — BRIAN S., NAPERVILLE, ILL.
DEAR ABBY: I have a couple of names that take the cake. I am a nurse in a large hospital in central Wisconsin. We had a plastic surgeon named Dr. Hacker, and if that wasn’t enough, his resident was Dr. Wacker. Not surprisingly, their patients required a lot of reassurance. Wouldn’t you? — LORI FROM THE DAIRY STATE
DEAR ABBY: While I was serving at the Marine Corps Schools in Quantico, Va., my best friend took me with him when he had his vasectomy. His physician’s name was Dr. D. Nutter. — PAT M., DALLAS
DEAR ABBY: There is a dentist here in my city whose hygienist’s last name is Toothacher. — GLEN IN TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: In Portland, Ore., where I reside, there are three orthodontists: Dr. Payne, Dr. Fear and Dr. Rensch (pronounced “Wrench”)! — AMELIA S.
DEAR ABBY: I swear this is true: When I visited my first gynecologist when I was in college (the University of Massachusetts at Amherst), his name was Dr. Clapp. — V. COOK, BLUE HILL, MAINE
DEAR ABBY: When I worked at a major hospital, from time to time I would see trauma victims with the attending doctor’s name being “Dr. Kill.” Initially I thought it was a hospital code for victims who might still be at risk. As it turned out, Dr. Kill is a practicing physician. — SABRINA IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR ABBY: My greatest nightmare of a college textbook was for a class called “History and Systems of Psychology.” It was better than a sleeping pill. It put students to sleep in 10 seconds flat. The author? Edwin G. Boring. — KAY IN MILLFORD, DEL.
DEAR ABBY: My father, mother and sister all see the same psychiatrist, and have for more than 15 years. His name is Dr. Looney. Seriously. — READER IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS
DEAR READER: I’d say Dr. Looney is running a family practice.
DEAR ANN: Thanks for a “Fixer”-upper of a letter. It arrived with a bushel of mail from other readers offering names that match occupations. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: One of my dearest friends is a professional landscaper of golf courses, highways and schools. His name? Ross Weed! — BONNIE G. CHAPIN, S.C.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, last name Graves, is a funeral director. — DIANNE G., RIPLEY, MISS.
DEAR ABBY: The first time I took my grandchildren to their doctor, their regular physician was on vacation. The doctor who was filling in for him was named Dr. Needle. I kid you not. — THERESA S., SPARROW BUSH, N.Y.
DEAR ABBY: When I was in college, the disciplinary dean’s name was Dick Justice. — BRIAN S., NAPERVILLE, ILL.
DEAR ABBY: I have a couple of names that take the cake. I am a nurse in a large hospital in central Wisconsin. We had a plastic surgeon named Dr. Hacker, and if that wasn’t enough, his resident was Dr. Wacker. Not surprisingly, their patients required a lot of reassurance. Wouldn’t you? — LORI FROM THE DAIRY STATE
DEAR ABBY: While I was serving at the Marine Corps Schools in Quantico, Va., my best friend took me with him when he had his vasectomy. His physician’s name was Dr. D. Nutter. — PAT M., DALLAS
DEAR ABBY: There is a dentist here in my city whose hygienist’s last name is Toothacher. — GLEN IN TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: In Portland, Ore., where I reside, there are three orthodontists: Dr. Payne, Dr. Fear and Dr. Rensch (pronounced “Wrench”)! — AMELIA S.
DEAR ABBY: I swear this is true: When I visited my first gynecologist when I was in college (the University of Massachusetts at Amherst), his name was Dr. Clapp. — V. COOK, BLUE HILL, MAINE
DEAR ABBY: When I worked at a major hospital, from time to time I would see trauma victims with the attending doctor’s name being “Dr. Kill.” Initially I thought it was a hospital code for victims who might still be at risk. As it turned out, Dr. Kill is a practicing physician. — SABRINA IN SAN DIEGO
DEAR ABBY: My greatest nightmare of a college textbook was for a class called “History and Systems of Psychology.” It was better than a sleeping pill. It put students to sleep in 10 seconds flat. The author? Edwin G. Boring. — KAY IN MILLFORD, DEL.
DEAR ABBY: My father, mother and sister all see the same psychiatrist, and have for more than 15 years. His name is Dr. Looney. Seriously. — READER IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS
DEAR READER: I’d say Dr. Looney is running a family practice.