You want to hear a really funny piece from the current state legislative session? Try this line delivered with a straight face by state Sen. Ross Tolleson, R-Perry:
BROOKLET - Four Southeast Bulloch pitchers combined for 13 strikeouts and allowed only two earned runs as the Yellow Jackets (10-8) edged the Emanuel County Institute Bulldogs 5-4 after trailing for most of the Wednesday night game.
BLACKSBURG, Va. - Between his first and second bursts of gunfire, the Virginia Tech gunman mailed a package to NBC News containing images of him brandishing weapons and video of him delivering a diatribe about getting even with rich people.
Kacie Lanier and Kate Anna Akins ran the table Wednesday at the GISA Class AA state tournament to become doubles state champions in tennis.
The Supreme Court upheld the nationwide ban on a controversial abortion procedure Wednesday, handing abortion opponents the long-awaited victory they expected from a more conservative bench.
The 5-4 ruling said the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act that Congress passed and President Bush signed into law in 2003 does not violate a woman's constitutional right to an abortion.
WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court's conservative majority upheld a nationwide ban Wednesday on a controversial abortion procedure in a decision that sets the stage for additional restrictions on a woman's right to choose.
Note: All information included in this report is taken from law enforcement incident reports and arrest records, which are public records and available for review at any and all local law enforcement agencies. Not every arrest leads to a conviction. Guilt or innocence is determined by the court system.
ATLANTA - Research on two continents signaled more bad news for menopause hormones, offering the strongest evidence yet that they can raise the risk of breast cancer and are tied to a slightly higher risk of ovarian cancer.
TRENTON, N.J. - It was an ominous tale - an erratic driver in a red pickup racing wildly along the nation's busiest toll road sends the governor's sport utility vehicle careening into a guard rail.
SAN JOSE, Calif. - Taxpayers who couldn't electronically file 11th-hour returns using Intuit Inc.'s TurboTax, ProSeries and other software won't be penalized for delays caused by the company's overtaxed servers, the IRS said Wednesday.
DEAR ABBY: I am unsure what to do about a friend who I thought was an honest, law-abiding citizen. She bragged to me that she's committing welfare fraud by not revealing additional income.
We are looking at the myths that surround a one-club opening. Here is another sentence I have heard numerous times: "I had to rebid my five-card minor to tell partner it wasn't a short minor."
Ambitious undertakings can be accomplished, provided you partner with resourceful and progressive associates. Dealings you have with those who lack imagination and/or skills aren't apt to be too gainful.
Two doubles teams from Bulloch Academy won twice Monday to advance to this morning's semifinals at the GISA Class AA state tennis tournament in Tifton.
EVANSTON, Ill. - They're called leggings - popular fashion items that are tight-fitting pants to some, and glorified tights to others.
MOKPO, South Korea - Koo Bon-hee could see the exit. For half an hour, as the doomed ferry filled with water and listed severely on its side, the crew told passengers to wait for rescuers.
CALGARY, Alberta - The son of a Calgary police officer was charged in the fatal stabbing of five people at a house party that the law enforcement officials called the worst mass slaying in the western Canadian city's history.
PRETORIA, South Africa - For five days, Oscar Pistorius endured a withering cross-examination at his murder trial from a prosecutor who pounced on apparent inconsistencies in his testimony. Yet, legal analysts said Tuesday, expert witnesses who will testify for the defense could undermine the prosecution's efforts to prove Pistorius killed girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp on purpose after an argument.
AUGUSTA - The moment doesn't get much bigger than this - a 20-foot putt on the 18th green Sunday at Augusta National for the win.
On April 26, Southeast Bulloch will welcome its 20th class into the athletic hall of fame as the school holds its annual banquet and induction ceremony.
Southeast Bulloch's senior girls made it a career sweep, winning a fourth consecutive region championship at the Region 1-AAA track and field meet Tuesday in Brooklet.
Georgia Southern baseball players Will Middour and Aaron Palmer have been dismissed from the program, GSU head coach Rodney Hennon said on Tuesday.
BOSTON - Survivors, first responders and family members of those killed in the Boston Marathon bombing marked the anniversary Tuesday with tributes that combined sorrow over the loss of innocent victims with pride over Boston's resilience in the face of a terror attack.
NEW YORK - Marking the 67th anniversary of the day Jackie Robinson broke baseball's color barrier, the Rev. Jesse Jackson praised Commissioner Bud Selig for the strides the sport has taken in minority opportunities over the past two decades.
Special to the Herald
Improvement in the economy after years of austerity has led to a discussion of whether the city of Statesboro should give its employees a 2.5 percent raise instead of a smaller raise and another one-time bonus.
Note: All information included in this report is taken from law enforcement incident reports and arrest records, which are public records and available for review at any and all local law enforcement agencies. Not every arrest leads to a conviction. Guilt or innocence is determined by the court system. Arrest photos are available for viewing at statesboroherald.com/arrests/
DAHLONEGA, Ga. - Tuition is going up for Georgia students at all 31 state colleges and universities under a budget plan approved Tuesday by the state Board of Regents, including the largest increase of $372 more per semester for Georgia Tech undergraduates.