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Dear Abby 10/12

Girl is being pursued by boy who's determined to a fault

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Posted: October 11, 2007 4:09 p.m.
Updated: October 26, 2007 5:02 a.m.
    DEAR ABBY: I am 14 and in high school. There's this boy, "Jon," who has liked me for a long time. Recently a friend of his asked me if I'd ever consider being Jon's girlfriend. I told him no. I said I liked Jon, just not in that way. Obviously, the friend told Jon.
    My problem is Jon is now acting obsessive toward me. He calls me almost every day telling me he WILL make me his girlfriend someday.
    Abby, I am friends with Jon's ex-girlfriend, "Sara," and that's one reason I said no. The second reason is that Sara confided in me that she broke up with Jon because he had begun to abuse her. The third is that I'm just not interested.
    Jon follows me around the school when he thinks I don't know. He has even followed me home. I don't know what to do about this, so please print my letter. -- BEING STALKED IN VANCOUVER, B.C.
    DEAR BEING STALKED: You cannot be "friends" with Jon, because he doesn't regard you in that way. The next time he calls, tell him he must stop calling, and that you know he has been following you, and that must stop, too. Then inform your parents what's been going on, and let them tell Jon's parents the attention you're receiving from their son is unwanted.
    Years ago, people used to think that the behavior you have described was just part of young love. Since the early '90s, however, members of law enforcement and the mental health community have come to realize that individuals who behave the way Jon does may be mentally unbalanced. In your case, this may be just a teenage crush, but if Jon doesn't leave you alone, your family may have to involve the police.

    DEAR ABBY: My husband and I celebrated our 50th anniversary a few weeks ago. Last spring we jokingly said that we would have to throw the party for ourselves because no one else would. We took all kids, spouses and grandkids on a cruise over the summer because that's when the kids were out of school.
    Well, our big day arrived. One daughter sent flowers, another bought a ham — for me to cook. One son called to say "Happy Anniversary." The other son forgot.
    I have been so depressed ever since that I break down in tears several times a day. Not one of our children thought our 50th was important enough to contact the siblings and say, "Hey, let's take Mom and Dad out to dinner on this special occasion." Am I wrong to feel hurt? How can I get beyond this? -- HURT BEYOND WORDS IN TEXAS
    DEAR HURT BEYOND WORDS: Your children may have been under the impression that the cruise you took them on during the summer was all the celebration you had in mind. If so, then your problem is not one of neglect; it was one of poor communication.
    The way to move beyond this is to dry your tears and resolve that you and your husband will schedule a romantic getaway for just the two of you. That way there will be no disappointments.

    TO MY MUSLIM READERS: A happy Eid al-Fitr, one and all!
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