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Outdoor Life: Why some men have dogs, not wives

There is a hearty breed (of men, not dogs) that, having shunned the normality of the marriage bond, now search for loving companionship via other avenues.  Many have found that camaraderie in the fun-loving canine.  Man’s best friend is carving out a new niche in family life by becoming the significant other rather than just a loosely attached part of the family.  There are multiple reasons for this transformation.  Most of these reasons have a firm factual basis from which they can make a case for this modification of a conventional lifestyle.
    After conducting numerous regional surveys, a list of reasons for men opting to keep a dog instead of a wife has been ascertained.  Here are the most popular ones.  
    1)    The later you are coming home the more excited the dog is to see you.
    2)    Dogs don’t take notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 
    3)    Dog’s like it when you leave a lot of things on the floor.
    4)    A dog’s parents never visit.
    5)    Dogs agree that you sometimes have to raise your voice to get your point across.
    6)    You never have to wait for a dog; they are ready to go 24/7.
    7)    Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk.
    8) Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
    9)    A dog will not wake you up at night to ask “If I died would you get another dog?”
    10-    If a dog has babies you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
    11-    If a dog smells another dog on you they don’t get mad.  They think it’s interesting.
    12-    Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
    And the number one answer given in the survey was:
    If a dog leaves it won’t take half your stuff with him.
    I must say that these gentlemen seem to have thought this matter through.  Based on the case evidence of this phenomenon I believe we will continue to see a trend in this direction.  After all, they make sense and these men seem to be happy with their arrangement.  It might be only fair to add that women could probably come up with a similar list of reasons to have dogs (or maybe just change husbands).  I probably need to survey the ladies on that one.

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