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Dear Abby 4/14

Boyfriend who cheats is best gone and forgotten

DEAR ABBY: I read your column every day, but this is the first time I have ever written. I'm a 16-year-old girl with a big problem. I dated a guy I'll call "Mickey" for about a month, maybe a little longer. Then we broke up because he said he wasn't over his last girlfriend. I know now it was a lie, since I found out they had never actually broken up — he just cheated on her with me.
    The problem is, we are fairly good friends, and he called me a month ago and we ended up having phone sex. I thought it meant something, and I believed him when he said he'd call me the next day, but he never called. In fact, Abby, he never said another word about it.
    Should I act like nothing ever happened, too — even though it kills me — or should I break off this friendship? — EMBARRASSED IN ARKANSAS
    DEAR EMBARRASSED: Treat this as a learning experience. "Mickey" is a user who has lied to you at least twice and cheats on his girlfriend. There is no need to break off the friendship because there was no friendship to begin with. If you're smart, you'll steer clear of him in the future, because boys who behave like this bring nothing but pain.
    DEAR ABBY: I have a big problem. My husband has anger management issues. He takes pills, but they make him insane. He has been fired from three different jobs and takes out his anger on our kids. He hits them frequently, and when I catch him, I make him stop — but when I'm not around, he just hits them again. No matter what I do, he won't stop.
    I work, but if my husband doesn't find a job and keep it, we won't have enough money for the house payment or our living expenses. I have no clue what to do. Please help me. I am in such crisis! — TORN APART IN TEXAS
    DEAR TORN APART: I don't know who is prescribing those pills for your husband, but if it's a doctor — and not some street pusher — the doctor should be notified immediately about what's going on. Your husband needs to be examined from the neck in both directions, because he could wind up seriously injuring or killing one or more of your children.
    I seriously doubt if he will be capable of getting and holding a job in time to save your home. So I'm advising you to contact any family you have, and see if you and your children can find temporary refuge with them. If that's not feasible, then call the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free at (800) 799-7233. A counselor there can advise you. Please don't wait to make that call.

    DEAR ABBY: Is it socially correct to have a housewarming party for someone who has lived in the home for more than 10 years? The party is scheduled to be held at a restaurant.
    The idea for this party was the "honoree's" mother's because her daughter has never been married or had a child, and her mother thinks that the people she has given gifts to all these years owe her something back. I have never heard of such a party, but others think it's a great idea. — CONFUSED IN SPENCERPORT, N.Y.
    DEAR CONFUSED: Although unusual, it's not unheard of. This kind of party is sometimes thrown for a "confirmed bachelorette." However, it is not referred to as a housewarming party. It's called a "happily single" shower, and the happy single registers at stores the same way a bride-to-be or expectant mother does.

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