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Dear Abby 3/3

Neighbors get an eyeful when nudist steps outside

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Posted: March 2, 2007 4:58 p.m.
Updated: March 17, 2007 5:00 a.m.
DEAR ABBY: We have a male neighbor I'll call "Flash" who frequently walks out to get his newspaper -- or the mail, or to retrieve something from his car -- while he's as naked as the day he was born. (He's in his late 50s and divorced.) Some of the women in the neighborhood know not to look toward Flash's home if they're out for a walk. They have discovered that he is most likely in the buff, standing at his glass door or sitting at his front office computer with the door open.
    Flash is otherwise a likable and helpful neighbor. We do not want to say anything that might destroy that relationship. It's not against the law to be a nudist, or for a woman to go topless in public in this city. However, to see a fella streak to his car is a little surprising and unsettling, even for another adult.
    In the normal course of things, he may be spotted in the nude once a week. I can only assume this goes on daily, but thankfully, our paths don't cross more than once a week. Is this something we should be concerned about? -- STARTLED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS
    DEAR STARTLED: Yes, it's something you should be concerned about. Your neighbor appears to be an exhibitionist -- someone who gets his kicks from exposing himself. The difference between an exhibitionist and a naturist -- someone who enjoys going to clothing-optional resorts -- is the exhibitionist "flashes" to get sexual pleasure from shocking people. This is not true of the naturist.
    The incidents of exposure that you have seen are not accidents. You would be doing your community a favor to photograph Flash in the act and forward the pictures to your local police station. A picture is worth a thousand words, and he may be breaking the laws against indecent exposure.
    P.S. If women going topless in public in Austin, Texas, is permissible, it's news to me.

    DEAR ABBY: By mutual agreement, my wife and I agreed to take in my sister-in-law "temporarily" to help while she took a work assignment here. It's two years later and she's still here. She is arrogant and distant, and we feel her discontent with putting up with us.
    This is our house, and we dread being here because of her presence. How do we ask her to leave? I want to set a deadline, but my wife says she cannot be so cruel. Her mother says her government assistance will be jeopardized if she allows her to move in with her. I am considering selling our house to get rid of her, but I'm afraid she would tag along. -- END OF MY ROPE IN TEXAS
    DEAR END OF MY ROPE: The first thing you and your wife need to do is be sure you both agree that "Sissy" should go. If she doesn't, it could spell the end of your marriage.
    Once you are in agreement, then the both of you will have to tell your wife's sister that it's time this "temporary" living situation came to an end. Set a date for her to be out, and post it on her bedroom door. It may take the help of a sheriff and a formal eviction to get her out, but if she has a job, she won't be on the streets.
    P.S. Do not expect gratitude from her for the shelter you have provided. From your description, she's incapable of it.
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