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Dear Abby 1/10

Kitchen is a bloody mess after husband goes hunting

DEAR ABBY: Every year, my husband and brothers-in-law go deer hunting. They always meet at my house for the big hunt. Each year they get sloppier and messier. They leave bloody footprints and pieces of deer carcass through the house and their dirty, smelly clothes in a big pile in the kitchen. They also never wash a dish, plate or utensil they use.
    Not only do they kill these creatures and drag them back to my house to clean and cut up, but they also do their "processing" in my small kitchen. Abby, I don't even eat meat! Despite repeated requests that my husband not do this, he continues to turn a deaf ear, claiming that he gets paid to do it by everyone because they don't like going to a meat processor and not getting their stuff for a month or more. Now I know why the black widow eats her mate. Any advice? — KAY IN ST. JOSEPH, MO.
    DEAR KAY: I didn't know the black widow ate her mate. I thought it was the praying mantis — but only after they had made love. (After all, after so much exertion, a girl could use a "pick-me-up.")
    My advice is to practice a little self-defense. When the next hunting party is planned, schedule a nice vacation for yourself — perhaps visiting family or a warmer climate? And make it plain to your husband that you will be back only after he has made sure the house is spotless.
    If the job is too much for him and the brothers-in-law, then he should hire a professional cleaning crew to do it. After all, he can't claim poverty. Because he's being paid for all the meat processing, he should be well able to afford the cost.
    P.S. A helpful suggestion: If a regular cleaning crew refuses the job, he should check into a company that cleans up crime scenes.

    DEAR ABBY: I will make this short. I am dating this guy I'll call "Rex," who my sister went to the prom with more than 35 years ago. She has since married and has family. I knew they had been to the prom together, but nothing ever came up about them seriously dating.
    When Rex and I started dating, I asked my sister if it was all right. She said there was no problem, and it was my decision. Now she hates me and has called me every name in the book. She says it's wrong. I'm confused — have I done something wrong? — STUCK IN FREEPORT, TEXAS
    DEAR STUCK: You have done nothing wrong. Your sister appears to be an unhappy soul who wants to lessen her frustration with her own life by blaming you. If her relationship with Rex was meant to be, something would have ensued during the 35 years after the prom.
    You were generous to ask her permission first, but from my perspective, it was unnecessary. You deserve to be happy and so does Rex. Stop being so dependent on your sister's approval and live your life.

    DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has a hard time in social situations. He dislikes people in general and needs a lot of alone time.
    I am the complete opposite. I need a circle of friends around me in order to be happy. How do we find a balance between the two? — CLARA IN CHICAGO
    DEAR CLARA: It may not be easy. I find it unlikely that someone who "dislikes people in general," "has a hard time in social situations" and is basically a loner will change. My question to you would be, how much are you willing to compromise, and would you be comfortable socializing alone?

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